How to Make B2B Advertising that Doesn’t Suck
By Ryan Kustcher, Published on April 7, 2023
If you’ve ever seen B2B advertising, it’s highly possible you’ve thought “man, that B2B advertising sucks.” It’s a surprisingly common phenomenon. And while B2B advertising can be a tricky puzzle, it doesn’t have to suck, even though most of it does. But today, rather than offer you ideas on how to make B2B advertising that doesn’t suck, I’m gonna try something different. I’m gonna teach you how to make super sucky B2B advertising so you can do the exact opposite.
Do not define, or bother, to understand your target audience.
The first rule of thumb for making sucky advertising is to make sure you’re advertising to no one in particular. This is a great way to make sure your advertising is ignored by everyone and therefore sucks real bad. You’ve read this kind of stuff. Headlines like “Finally the throughput optimization infrastructure that doesn’t reduce latency.” Who’s been waiting for that? No one. So to do the opposite here, you want to ask: Who are you trying to reach? What are their pain points and challenges? What solutions are they looking for? You need to understand the motivations, behaviors, and preferences of your target audience to create advertising that resonates with them.
Focus on features, not benefits.
Yes, if you want to make truly sucky B2B advertising, it should read like a laundry list of features and not focus at all on any tangible benefit. Don’t treat your audience like people at all; just think of them like cold, calculating cost/benefit analyzers, and you will absolutely be well on your way to making highly sucky advertising. Now, to do the opposite, you should highlight how your solution can help solve real, actual, human problems like increasing efficiency, saving time, reducing costs, and boosting revenue. Not features, but benefits. Make sure your messaging is clear, concise, and emphasizes the value you can deliver.
Do not be authentic or have any personality whatsoever.
These days, consumers are increasingly savvy and skeptical. Therefore, if you want to make highly sucky B2B advertising, ignore that! Instead use lots of see-through marketing jargon and gimmicks. To create B2B advertising that doesn’t suck, be authentic and transparent. Don’t over-promise or exaggerate the benefits of your product or service. Instead, be honest about what you can deliver and how you can help your customers achieve their goals.
Do not use storytelling, whatever you do; humans are wired to respond to stories.
If you want to create B2B advertising that sucks like nothing has ever sucked before, DO NOT use storytelling. This will ensure that you don’t create an emotional connection with your target audience, which could make for good, highly effective advertising. Of course, if you want to do the opposite, then by all means use stories about how your product or service has helped other businesses overcome their challenges and achieve success. Use customer testimonials, case studies, and real-life examples to illustrate the benefits of your solution.
Measure and optimize.
Finally, to create B2B advertising that really sucks, you want to make sure you don’t measure or optimize your campaigns continuously. Don’t use data analytics to track the performance of your ads or identify areas for improvement. Don’t test different messaging, creative, and targeting strategies to see what works best. Just assume everything’s going great, and don’t refine your approach to create advertising that delivers results. That oughta do it.
In conclusion, B2B advertising doesn’t have to suck. By understanding your target audience, focusing on benefits, being authentic, using storytelling, and measuring and optimizing your campaigns, you can create completely non-sucky B2B advertising that resonates with your customers and delivers results. If you’re into that kind of thing.
